


On the Highway

by bananacosmicgirl



Category: NCIS
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27697847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananacosmicgirl/pseuds/bananacosmicgirl
Summary: The very first time Tobias Fornell decided that he really, really, really didn’t like NCIS and Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo was while sitting in an FBI SUV, going down a highway in the middle of the night.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	On the Highway

The very first time Tobias Fornell decided that he really, really, really didn’t like NCIS and Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo was while sitting in an FBI SUV, going down a highway in the middle of the night. 

“Why d’you let NCIS have the evidence they bagged on the plane?” FBI Agent Kemp asked. 

Fornell shrugged, satisfied with the current situation – he was once more in control after having lost it for a little while when NCIS waved goodbye to him and hi-jacked Air Force One. “Since we have the body, we control the investigation. If a few ribs and coleslaw saves some face, what’s it hurt?” 

Kemp snorted in agreement. Fornell changed the subject to the investigation at hand – now that the pissing contest over the body was over and done with, they had a murderer to catch. “If the food was poisoned, the President would—” 

And that was when the ringing of a cell phone interrupted him. It wasn’t his – he had long since changed the tune to a slightly less regular one – and Kemp looked down at his own cell. 

“Not mine, sir,” said Kemp. 

The ringing continued and Fornell frowned, looking down at his phone despite knowing that it wasn’t his. “Not mine, either.” 

The ringing stopped and a low voice spoke from the back of the SUV. “Hello?” 

It took Fornell a half a second to recognize DiNozzo’s voice. In that half a second, he had the time to imagine the corpse coming to life to answer his ringing phone, but that idiotic thought was quickly shoved out and ignored, because he was an FBI Agent and FBI Agents did not have such dumb thoughts. He and Kemp both turned and looked at the back of the SUV. 

Fornell gave Kemp a look, and Kemp slammed on the brakes. 

“What the hell?” Fornell asked, even though he already had a strong inkling on just what NCIS had pulled on them. 

He ignored the cars honking at them with practiced ease – after years with the FBI, he was used to people not being happy with him. 

Fornell got out of the car, anger building. He was pretty sure there’d be smoke coming out of his ears soon. 

There were mutterings coming from the inside the body bag. Something about not being sure he wanted to. Fornell could imagine Gibbs sitting on the other end of the line, laughing at him, which only made his blood boil hotter. 

He had to give DiNozzo some props for staying on the phone, though, rather than trying to get out on his own. 

“That’s funny, Gibbs, real funny,” Fornell heard DiNozzo mutter, just as Fornell pulled open the back of the SUV. “Especially since—” 

At least DiNozzo shut up when Fornell grabbed the body bag, pulled and unceremoniously dumped him on the ground. Well, he wasn’t really quiet – there was an ‘aaah!’ and then an ‘oomph!’ as the bag hit the ground. It made Fornell smile. 

Fornell bent down and unzipped the body bag. He grabbed hold of the first thing he could of DiNozzo’s, which happened to be an ear, and dragged him up to a standing position. DiNozzo was taller than Fornell, but at the moment he looked more like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar than a Special Agent. 

“Hey! Hey!” DiNozzo protested. “That hurts! Ow!” 

“Get out of my sight before I do something that hurts much worse, DiNutzo,” Fornell snarled. 

“Yeah, yeah, you’re just mad ‘cause we got the body.” 

Fornell growled and pushed DiNozzo away. He stalked back to the front of the SUV and slammed open the door. 

“Hey! You can’t just leave me out here!” DiNozzo yelled after him. 

Fornell glared back at him. “Watch me.” 

He got into the car, closed the door and nodded to Kemp. He felt minutely better about being able to get back at NCIS, even if it was petty and pointless, and even though someone would probably pick DiNozzo up soon.

He muttered angrily under his breath, ignoring Kemp’s slightly worried glance. Damn NCIS. 

Gibbs was probably still laughing. 

**Author's Note:**

> (Yes, I'm aware that Fornell is the one who says DiNozzo's name correct, technically. Then again, since Tony himself says DiNozzo rather than DiNotzo, I figure the correct way to pronounce it is how the owner of the name says it. Therefore, Fornell says it "wrong".)


End file.
